Courtney "Mom when can we buy an X-ray?"
Me "What?"
Courtney yells "Mom when can we buy an X-ray?"
Me "You don't have to yell it, I'm sitting right here. Why do you want an X-ray?"
Courtney "Because I need to know whats in my body. My stomach hurts and I need to figure out what's in there."
Me "Sorry sweety, but X-ray's only belong at the Dr's office."
Courtney "I know, I just wanted to know whats in there."
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hawaii
My heart has been heavy again since our encounter with the old Andrew the last three months of 2008. I noticed my life seemed to look thru the autism goggles. Nothing I saw or did was untouched by it, I knew that I wasn't seeing my world thru God's eyes anymore, but thru the eyes of our situation again.
It was four years ago that I came to Hawaii with Dad and where God mercifully gave me freedom from the "autism goggles" I had then. Those goggles were tinted a little different - anger - bitterness - pain - fear. When Dad asked me a few months ago if I would come with him to Hawaii again, I jumped at the chance. I knew if there was one place that I could get these goggles off it would be here.
On Wednesday, we were scheduled to fly to Honolulu for a night because Dad had several meetings for us to attend. But on Wednesday morning we were invited to a time of prayer with the University of Nations advirsory board. There were several couples from Washington that were there to pray specifically for this group of people and Dad and I had an hour to spend with one of them ourselves. This week we officially had shut the doors of Progress Land so they spent about 45 minutes praying with Dad regarding his future, he stopped them then and asked them to pray for me as well.
The wife of the couple said she saw me walking into somewhere new with two suitcases in my hands. I had a sense of awe and excitment on my face and I was there to pursue a new passion. The two suitcases when opened contained all the things that had prepared me for this new passion. I've been asking God for a few months to ignite in me a passion - passion for himself, passion for my husband and children, and a passion for something with spiritual significance. Then she said she saw a string of cans like they put behind cars after weddings, and one string was attached to each of my ankles. Our time of prayer showed one ankle of cans to be my feelings of failure as a parent. I have long struggled with feelings of inadequacy regarding my mothering skills - I asked for forgivness for believing the lies and let go of my inadequacies. The second group of cans represented my guilt over wishing things were different - wishing my life was different and that Andrew was normal. I guess I never really thought I had guilt about it, never thought those kind of thoughts would impact my spirit in such a way. Again I asked God to forgive me for the guilt, to acknowledge that I was truly feeling this way and recognizing those feelings were real but that I don't need to have them anymore, because God doesn't make mistakes.
Ahhhh....the sweet place of freedom and joy. Again, this place has led to my "autism goggles" being removed so that I can see my world thru the eyes God intended for me to have. This has also taught me to take captive every thought - I never imagined that my thinking "Why does Andrew have to be autistic?" would have put me in such a place as it did. I am so grateful to be here, and for the people who are on this campus that are such a great example of faith.
I am excited to head home and to make some changes!
It was four years ago that I came to Hawaii with Dad and where God mercifully gave me freedom from the "autism goggles" I had then. Those goggles were tinted a little different - anger - bitterness - pain - fear. When Dad asked me a few months ago if I would come with him to Hawaii again, I jumped at the chance. I knew if there was one place that I could get these goggles off it would be here.
On Wednesday, we were scheduled to fly to Honolulu for a night because Dad had several meetings for us to attend. But on Wednesday morning we were invited to a time of prayer with the University of Nations advirsory board. There were several couples from Washington that were there to pray specifically for this group of people and Dad and I had an hour to spend with one of them ourselves. This week we officially had shut the doors of Progress Land so they spent about 45 minutes praying with Dad regarding his future, he stopped them then and asked them to pray for me as well.
The wife of the couple said she saw me walking into somewhere new with two suitcases in my hands. I had a sense of awe and excitment on my face and I was there to pursue a new passion. The two suitcases when opened contained all the things that had prepared me for this new passion. I've been asking God for a few months to ignite in me a passion - passion for himself, passion for my husband and children, and a passion for something with spiritual significance. Then she said she saw a string of cans like they put behind cars after weddings, and one string was attached to each of my ankles. Our time of prayer showed one ankle of cans to be my feelings of failure as a parent. I have long struggled with feelings of inadequacy regarding my mothering skills - I asked for forgivness for believing the lies and let go of my inadequacies. The second group of cans represented my guilt over wishing things were different - wishing my life was different and that Andrew was normal. I guess I never really thought I had guilt about it, never thought those kind of thoughts would impact my spirit in such a way. Again I asked God to forgive me for the guilt, to acknowledge that I was truly feeling this way and recognizing those feelings were real but that I don't need to have them anymore, because God doesn't make mistakes.
Ahhhh....the sweet place of freedom and joy. Again, this place has led to my "autism goggles" being removed so that I can see my world thru the eyes God intended for me to have. This has also taught me to take captive every thought - I never imagined that my thinking "Why does Andrew have to be autistic?" would have put me in such a place as it did. I am so grateful to be here, and for the people who are on this campus that are such a great example of faith.
I am excited to head home and to make some changes!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
While Eric is away....Amy will play!
OK - so play is not exactly the right word. But I do enjoy a little "While You Were Out" action when Eric leaves. This time - though his trip was short, I embarked upon re-doing the downstairs bathroom.
Here is before....
It did take three whole days, two pairs of wrecked sweatpants, and a patient and helpful brother to finish. Luker taught me how to tile and I did half of the tile and all the grout all by myself and re-install a toilet. Now it is only a few hours till I get to pick up my hubby and show him the new bathroom.....Andrew spoiled it a bit by telling him over the phone we were getting a new bathroom, but it will be fun either way. And I am so glad to have it finally finished.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Party of all Parties!
Happy 1st Birthday Kaden
(Yep, Mom and I made the cake)
We had a very busy day on Saturday. Up and going early to start decorating for Kaden's 1st Birthday Party. Apparently, Brazillians do birthdays BIG - very BIG! We spent all morning blowing up balloons and assembling tables, laying out sweets, and goofing around. The party started at 4:30 and all the kids had a great time! After all the guests had left, cleanup went fairly quickly and we have lots of memories of one really big birthday bash!
We love you little guy and Happy 1st Birthday!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wonderful Hubby
Well I finally got struck with a stomach bug yesterday....no matter how hard I tried I was unable to avoid it. It was 15 long hours of torture, but I am finally on the mend and actually feeling rather rested.
Eric was the true hero yesterday - since it started at 6:30am he had to do the morning routine of getting the kids off to school and my carpool partner was kind enough to take Court home for the day after school....thank you Patti!
All I had to do was text Skills and he would come running up to help me with whatever I needed - TV - Gatorade - socks. He took such good care of me and I am so grateful to have such an amazing husband.
I love you skills!
Eric was the true hero yesterday - since it started at 6:30am he had to do the morning routine of getting the kids off to school and my carpool partner was kind enough to take Court home for the day after school....thank you Patti!
All I had to do was text Skills and he would come running up to help me with whatever I needed - TV - Gatorade - socks. He took such good care of me and I am so grateful to have such an amazing husband.
I love you skills!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
A Picture of Jesus
So I'm part of a Bible Study that is going thru the book "Strong Women, Soft Heart". I joined mostly because I had two people who I was making friends with and I wanted to spend more quality time with them. Little did I know how pertinent to my life this perticular book would be. I'm sure God new...he..he...
This morning our chapter was on Trust - something I don't particularly put in many and struggle with all the time. Our leader brought a giant framed picture of Jesus with a lap full of children. At first glance its just like any other picture you've seen of Jesus and a bunch of kids....but she asked us to study it and talk about it.
The center of the picture is Jesus with an amuzed, excited look on his face. A beautiful dark haired girl standing behind him with her arms drapped over his shoulders. Two boys sitting on his lap - one giggling and one contemplating something making him smile while one of his Saviours arms is wrapped around him. Another energetic little boy holding the other hand is being pulled up from the ground. And that last one is a little boy looking at and playing with Jesus' leg. I'm sure each of us women came up with something a little different that we took from the picture, something that will shape how we view ourselves and our children and the relationship that we have with Christ.
I was so comforted by the little boy looking playing with his leg. It made me picture Andrew and more what his relationship with Christ looks like. Not the cliimb in your lap or play with you kind of relationship; but the just want to hang around and be with you kind. The enjoy your company and explore my world around you kind. It was a visual I needed and now I have to figure out which one of those little children is me.....
This morning our chapter was on Trust - something I don't particularly put in many and struggle with all the time. Our leader brought a giant framed picture of Jesus with a lap full of children. At first glance its just like any other picture you've seen of Jesus and a bunch of kids....but she asked us to study it and talk about it.
The center of the picture is Jesus with an amuzed, excited look on his face. A beautiful dark haired girl standing behind him with her arms drapped over his shoulders. Two boys sitting on his lap - one giggling and one contemplating something making him smile while one of his Saviours arms is wrapped around him. Another energetic little boy holding the other hand is being pulled up from the ground. And that last one is a little boy looking at and playing with Jesus' leg. I'm sure each of us women came up with something a little different that we took from the picture, something that will shape how we view ourselves and our children and the relationship that we have with Christ.
I was so comforted by the little boy looking playing with his leg. It made me picture Andrew and more what his relationship with Christ looks like. Not the cliimb in your lap or play with you kind of relationship; but the just want to hang around and be with you kind. The enjoy your company and explore my world around you kind. It was a visual I needed and now I have to figure out which one of those little children is me.....
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Hab 3:17-18
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
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