Monday, January 23, 2012

Guest Suite

So with the addition of Tanner -  guests with kids have become a bit more challenging.   Not that we mind, but I'm not a big fan of sleeping in the same room as Tanner :)   Being he is teething again, he's often up and fussy in the middle of the night and its a lot harder to ignore in the same room.   After seeing a few great guest room ideas on Pinterest, I decided to embark on a Skillestad Extreme Makeover for the guest room.

It actually took me a whole week to accomplish - which is like 6 months in Amy time - leading to many a night up till 2:00am with thoughts of projects yet to finish or start for that matter.

Task one - repaint.   The room was pink - yes I said pink - and at the time I painted it I thought that was a splendid color.  My husband has never been so excited to paint anything in his entire life.   He HATED the pink.   The room is now sporting cream and dark brown walls and my husband is much much happier.

Before                                          After

As I said, space for children was the needed addition, so after several long, cold hours at the Builders Material Outlet I found some things to make myself a great kids bunk that wouldn't take up too much space.  And my other most hated thing about the previous room was Eric's old college fridge in the corner, full of refreshments for entertaining that needed to be camouflaged.  A little breakfast nook and extra cabinet door took care of that problem.   Now all we need are some guests to test it out!

Breakfast nook - fridge hidden on left.

Pinterest Idea - serving tray from old cabinet door.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Quiet and Worship

There aren't many quiet moments around here these days.   If the house is quiet - I'm usually sleeping along with the rest of them.  But a much needed Sunday afternoon nap has me enjoying a true quiet moment - time for reflection and prayer tonight.

My favorite quiet time place is in the dark, laying next to the fire with some great worship music on the Iphone.   Tonights favorite worship song was "WHO I AM" by Jason Gray, which probably spoke to my heart because of another meaningful sermon this morning.   I am so thankful for our new church, not that we didn't get fed at our previous one, but I am brought to tears each Sunday morning during worship - seriously, every Sunday.   And the sermon series have been so targeted for things that I have recognized as struggles I have or things that have been on my heart.

The new series started this week is called UNthink and will be teaching us how to take our thoughts captive and how to foster a Christlike thought life.   My life is FULL of negative thoughts.  Body image, wife abilities, mother abilities - you name it I'm sure I tell myself that I suck at it.   I think I do a pretty good job of covering up all these insecurities - YEP overacheiver comes to mind.   And I do feel good about the things that I accomplish.  Maybe that's why I'm so driven to finish things I start and to do them well - I need to be able to tell myself "Good Job".   

But God didn't create me to be able to be good at something just so that could take his place as the reason I am worthy.   I'm excited to learn how to stop the negative thoughts and to replace them with ones that are spoken from Christ's perspective.   I have always struggled with intimacy with God, OK, if I'm realistic intimacy with most anyone.  But I feel like if I get it figured out with God, everyone else will follow naturally.   So, my goal this week is to be praying I will see, feel and know that I am a truely loved and wanted daughter of Him.  The song I mentioned above will be my prayer this week.   Lord, Remind me who I am to You.

WHO I AM - Jason Gray

Verse 1:

When I lose My way, And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see, Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the lonliest places, When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to you.
Who I am to you.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to you.
That I belong to you.
To you.

Verse 2:
When my heart is like a stone, And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't recieve your love, Afraid I'll never be enough,
Find More lyrics at
Remind me who I am.
If I'm your beloved, Can you help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to you.
Who I am to you, Woh.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to you.
That I belong to you.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Bigger than Me

Our sermon last Sunday has been a thought provoking one for me this week.    He talked about having a dream or goal that is bigger than what we can make happen on our own.   That our faith is strengthened and required when we bring something to God in prayer that He alone can make happen.   So I left there wondering what dream or goal I have that is bigger than me.   I do have dreams.....sitting on a beach in Hawaii would be the foremost one I can think of....but I know that is not the kind of dream he was speaking of.   What I've discovered about myself is that I don't really have dreams or goals to speak of, at least nothing I cannot physically do myself in a rather short period of time. 

I think we all have an imaginary jar with our dreams and goals - and I think there are many kinds of jars.  Full ones, ones with tons of ideas and ambition and there is no lack of God sized ones to pray about and have your faith increased by.  Half full jars, with mostly small and attainable dreams/goals, but maybe one big crazy one that God can't wait for you to come to Him with.  Then there is mine, which some may consider empty, but I consider even less.   See, I had a jar of dreams, it was growing all the time - from the moment we started trying for  a baby they were just multiplying like crazy.  Big ones, little ones, short ones, and long ones, all kinds of wife and mommy and grandma dreams.   Phew....  I can't even remember them all.    But I felt like the moment I finally let it sink in that Andrew had Autism, I dropped my jar and it shattered into a million pieces.    And it hurt so bad to even think about all the contents, that I just swept it up and put it somewhere I wouldn't have to think about it again.

The Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder this week and reminded me I have a jar - that God can fix my jar - and that its time I asked him to fix it and help me start to fill it again.   I know my faith will never be strong or growing if I don't have dreams/goals that require I ask my heavenly father to help me or accomplish them for me.   The hardest part of this is not letting him fix the jar, I actually miss it.  But it is revisiting some of the dreams that are still dangling from the shards and debris that are already making me FEEL and REMEMBER and bringing me back to a place of sadness and pain.   It doesn't last long anymore, and I know that God will use this to purify me and bring me to a place of deeper trust in Him.   Maybe that is my God sized goal for 2012 - to open up the hidden and stuffed places I don't even know are there and find some more freedom.   

I really do want the God sized dreams/goals - but my "I can do all things by myself" moto has kept me from wanting them or even asking for them.   However, 2012 I'm going to try and tell myself each morning that "I can do all things through Christ" and to ask him for a God sized dream/goal - and then see what He gives me.   Ask and it shall be given......