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I went on Monday to my parents house to water my mom's plants in the greenhouse. And as I drove up the driveway I saw my old neighbors garage door open. They were like a second family to me and the daughter that I was closest to died in a car accident in 1999 so I haven't seen much of them during my married life. I decided not to go visit since I was in my PJ's and hadn't even brushed my hair. I proceeded up to water the plants, pick out some new books from the Israelson Christian Library (thanks mom) and then decided to grab their mail. The mailbox is on the otherside of the car and it was freezing so I decided to pull in the nieghbors driveway and turn around. I pulled in and just kept going - up I went despite my disheveled appearance. I knocked on the door and found a smiling Corby with open arms telling me how great is was to see me. It was only a few minutes before I unfolded the story of our night before with Andrew and as I broke down I knew she was just the person I was supposed to see that morning. The things she has had to endure since Kendra's death has brought her to such a close relationship with Christ and that is what I want. We hugged and prayed and she shared with me that about a year and a half ago she had felt in several specific situations that she was to praise him, literally. So she decided to start rising early in the morning to sing praise songs and read aloud scripture. She gave me one of her books that she had prepared with all the songs and scriptures that went along with the lyrics. I thought, well, I'm not much for getting up early but I guess we can try something like that.

Yesterday I rose an hour early feeling terrible but got up anyway. I sang and read those scriptures for almost an hour and then got the kids ready for school. I can't say I felt much yesterday though we had no major outbursts with Andrew. I was exhasted, must have taken three naps. By bedtime I hadn't picked up my bible or spent much more time in prayer but decided to read a chrisitan novel till I couldn't keep my eyes open. I didn't know at 8pm when I started chapter 1 that it would extend until 2am when I finished the book - I know, I need to quit reading - I just can't put books down :) Anyway, I set my alarm for the normal time and decided I would do my singing time while Court was at school - I knew 5 hours of sleep was already going to be a really bad deal. I haven't slept well in almost two months and the fatigue was starting to set in again.

I awoke this morning to my alarm at 7:20 - totally refreshed - totally renewed - ready for the day. Despite Andrew's inccesent chant that he did not want the bagel with the sunflower butter on it "Its a Stink" I was filled with patience, I didn't raise my voice or show frustraition. I had peace - an unexplainable by all circumstances should have been tired and crabby beyond measure peace.

I have spent much of my morning - singing praises or in prayer - mingled with housework. I am not any happier about my situation, but I am at peace in this day. I am feeling my time with God produced someting in a way that has alluded me for quite some time.

Thank you everyone for all your prayers - I believe that as I continue to draw near to him he will show me more and more of himself. Please keep praying for Andrew, that he would find peace and rest at bedtime, that he would heal the bodily functions that keep him from being able to eat right, that he would heal his brain from the things that don't function properly.