Heartbeat

Today was my first OB visit for this pregnancy.   It was all the normal boring stuff and the fun of hearing the heartbeat for the first time.    Somehow that tiny little 160 beats a minute heart makes this really horrible feeling stomach a little more worthwhile - and makes this crazy ride seem a bit more real.

Here's to feeling better sooner than later.....and a continued healthy pregnancy.

Sick and Tired

Need I say more?

Miracles Do Happen!

So February and March were very interesting months for me. I came home from Hawaii feeling a little more revived and came home from Florida really trying to grow my spiritual walk. It also happened to be a stretch of time where most of our friends husbands were getting their vasectomies. I'm sure if you are reading this, I have at some point told you I absolutely did not want any more children. I was afraid of Autism, afraid of more food allergies, afraid of being totally overwhelmed - not to mention I just plain old love my new found sleep too much. So Eric asked if he could go get the big "V" and I said not yet. Everytime he has asked I have said not yet - I just couldn't quite get myself to let him do it. Then I slowly started to desire a bigger family - not a baby per se - but I always envisioned having a bigger family. The last 7 years I have said I would need to hear an audible "YES" from God if he wanted me to have more children so I decided I would at least pray about it. I had last year repented of living in fear in this area of my life, but hadn't actually ever really considered having another baby.

So.... I prayed, and prayed some more, and prayed some more. And then I had a divine revelation. In praying and waiting, I was in some small way still selfishly controlling the situation. If I truly was willing to allow God to decide on the size of our family I should probably just try for a month and see what happens. Give him total control sine He is the one who starts life anyway. So we decided that we would try the month of March and if we concieved it would be a clear and consise answer from God that He did indeed want us to have a larger family. And if I didn't, I could have no regrets and know that I had given my complete faith and trust in this situation. So on March 23, 2010 - a positive pregnancy test revealed that the Skillestad family would be radically changing.

There are days that I am petrified and afraid and I have to say out loud "I trust you." until I feel His peace. And then there are days that I am so excited to meet our new child. So, the moral of the story is......never say never. And taking a step of faith and relying on God brings amazing peace despite the craziness of it all.

6am Wake Up Call

So - I've been asking the Lord lately to draw me closer to Him. Intimacy on any level is very difficult for me and my relationship with God is no exception. I find it so difficult to sit still and have a quiet time....my brain just never settles into a quiet state. Anyway, I am a night owl - I could stay up until 2am every night if I thought I wouldn't pay for it the next day. I hate mornings.....really I do. Yet I've found myself for at least the last week waking at 6am every morning. It kills me, I roll and toss and say to myself "Why am I up, I want to be sleeping until the very last moment I need to get the kids up." Yet it continues.

This morning was no exception. I opened my eyes and read 6:00 on my ceiling in bright red. (I have one of those cool LED alarm clocks that shows you the time and temp on your ceiling) Ugggg I thought. Why 6:00am. Then it occured to me. Because God wants some time with me. He's the one who is waking me at 6am every morning, just waiting for me to hang out. Though I'd like to say that I immediatly got up and started reading my Bible, I did not. I did, however, spend the next hour in prayer. Praying for whatever seemed to enter my mind at the time. My brain does seem much more settled in the morning. If God wants my 6am's, who am I to say "no". So, here's to 6am quiet times and hopefully a more intimate relationship with my Savior.

None

Sorry I have been gone so long from this little blog. I find I don't have much interesting things to write these days. Life has been so busy - and seems like the same things that were plaguing us last winter were here just the same. We are actually doing well, with the exception of Courtney's stomach issues - several hundred dollars in tests and an endoscopy (which I haven't gotten the bill for yet :) later we have still no answers as to her stomach pain. So we press on....

I'm getting ready to go be with Conni Nevills for the birth of their little boy in Baltimore - only God will be able to get me there in time I'm sure - and taking some therapy classes. I'm sure I will come up with something deep and inspiration to tell you in the coming days.....until then this shall have to do.

God Bless, Am

Bowling

Well tonight we decided to take the kids bowling. When we took our trip to FL the kids played alot of Wii and Andrew's favorite game was bowling. Well as he quickly discovered - real bowling not so easy.....Wii easy.

So as you can imagine - he spent alot of his time crying and extremely uspset about his inability to get a strike or spare - or really hardly get it down the lane even with bumpers...he...he...

The only real disappointment in our fun family evening was the family of 6 across from us. Though I only saw it once - one of Andrew's crying moments left her rolling her eyes at us. I try not to take it personally, to not feel a little shame in his behavior, to know she is thinking something bad about us as parents. I however, have the knowledge of what an amazing kid he is and what a terrible bowler he is and how that makes him feel. We salvaged the end of the night with a special bowling tool for him to roll it down a hill and down the lane. Will we go again - not in the very near future - but yes we will. I won't let his frustraition keep him from doing something I know he will enjoy once he figures it out.

Court's New Room

My "big" little girl requested a more grown up room. And though it has been described as "someone thew up pink in here", she loves it dearly.