Trip to the Orchard

Well we made a quick trip to a local orchard yesterday. I had intentions of finding one with a little more hoopla to occupy the kids - but we wandered upon a small family orchard and decided they would enjoy the picking of apples no matter where it was. We grabbed a large bag, told them what our favorite apples were, and off we went to the rows of trees that awaited.

Now Courtney's favorite part of the trip were the cats.....to both her parents dismay....hardly would put them down to even pick one apple. Oh well, at least she enjoyed her trip to the cat farm.

Andrew on the other hand - could have picked the entire row of trees by himself if we would have let him. He had a great time and couldn't wait to eat one of the apples he picked. The hard part is that Apples make Andrew Angry :( But we let him have one despite that....and yes today we are paying the price. I wouldn't let him have something in the van on the way to Cannon Falls today and he threw a book at me....and then toy....and had started to toss a DVD case when Eric caught him. I was driving. I guess prayers that Andrew's digestive tract would function normally would be greatly appreciated. It is so hard to say no to him sometimes, but it is so hard emotionally when he is violent and spews hurtful words and objects.

Anyway, our trip to the orchard was fun and the kids will want to go every weekend probably. To bad our favorite apple "The Honeycrisp" is so stinkin expensive.

Fireproof

We went to a movie tonight - my first in many months. I went knowing it was not going to be an Emmy nomiated movie, nor one that may be in theatres for any length of time, but one that I knew would leave me feeling like I had been touched by the Holy Spirit.

I was not disappointed. How often I need visual reminders of God's grace and desire for me to let go and run to him. I came home and decided to browse the website relating to the movie and on one of the pages the song "Deeper Still" by Scott Krippayne started playing. My counselling session last week was specifically centered on my desire to know God deeper, I want to let go of my self-reliance and let him be my partner. I honestly know tonight that I don't have to live this life a one-woman tornado trying to make life run smoothly for all involved in my life. Tonight I'm letting go of my inability to fix my son, my inability to to be the mother I desire, my inability to be the wife I desire, my inability to be the employee I want to be - and I'm putting them in hands that are far more qualified to make them work than I am. I'm ready to fall into the arms of God and let him lead, I'm ready to feel I'm worthy of him and all he has to offer, and I will do my darndest not to backseat drive. I only have one life on this earth - I cannot continue to spend that life striving to please everyone except for the ONE who matters. Lord, intimacy with you is my desire, I feel your presence and I know you are here with me to walk alongside, to guide, and to carry my burdens. Lead on.......

"Deeper Still"

Here I am in this familiar place again

Standing on the shore of my complacency

Ankle deep in love I once was swimming in

Shallowness has taken over me

But the current pulls the sand

And moves my stubborn feet

From the dryness of the land

To where the waves pound over me

CHORUS:

Take me deep enough where I can see

The bottom of Your heart

Deep enough that I can know Your will

Deep enough to know that we Will never be apart

And when I get there

Take me deeper still

Take me through the wonders of Your faithfulness

Help me see the depth of my own need

Lead me to the water where Your mercy is

For You and You alone can set me free

I am covered by Your grace Far away from shore

As You’re taking me to places I have never been before

CHORUS:
Take me deep enough where I can see
The bottom of Your heart
Deep enough that I can know Your will
Deep enough to know that we Will never be apart
And when I get there
Take me deeper still

Wednesday Madness

Well tomorrow shall be a day of madness. I shall attempt to go to bed early so as to rise uncrabby to get the kids off to school. Wednesday is my day with the carpool to Courtney's school - then off to counselling in Golden Valley - yes I am attempting to work through my deeply hidden issues...he..he....then straight to Courtney's school to pick them up - then run home and dress both her and myself and do our hair in less then 10 minutes for the "Cousin Family Pictures" - then off to Andrew's school to pick him up - then off to the mall for the imfamous "Cousin Family Pictures" which I might add will include a 6 day old premmie baby, a 7 month old just learned how to crawl little boy, and 5 usually less than cooperative children. Can't wait. Then off to home to prepare dinner for all 10 adults and 5 eating children. We will all be hanging out with Joy and Kory and the rest of the family will be getting to know little Elijah whom I have already had the pleasure of spending time with.

Ahhhhhh - I'm tired and I haven't even started that day yet!

New Delivery

I went to bed last night at 11:15pm hoping to get a good nights sleep. But at 1:30am my cell phone rang - then my home phone rang. I decided either dad had something very important for me to do or it was Joyzie. Sure enough it was Joyzie. Her water had broke and she was letting me know it was time to head to the hospital. So I packed up and off I went to St Cloud.

An hour drive - and 2 1/2 hours after I reached the hopsital my new nephew, Elijah Warren Bellmont was born at 6:01am. He was 5 lbs 1 ounces and was 18 1/4 inches long. He was also 5 weeks premature - almost to the day of Jada's early arrival. But I think God gave us a little miracle because his lungs were fully developed and all was well despite his small size.

Now the premmie birth is no new process for us Israelson women....number 4 of 6 grandchildren to be more than 4 weeks early. I was so proud of Joyzie for doing it without an epidural - she was a real trooper and now will have the sole title of "No Epidural Childbirth" in our fam.

We are so excited to have a new addition to our family - Welcome Elijah Warren!

Flashing Lights

Well, Andrew had his first migrain in a long time yesterday. We needed to pack up a bunch of things to take to Eric's parents in Cannon Falls for the giant Cannon Falls garage sale day on Saturday. So we put him in bed and proceded to clean out the garage. Then we woke him up (he was not happy about it) and throw them in the car and off we went.

It took most the evening to take out and mark and fold all the items but it was one of the more relaxing trips at the in-laws due to Andrew being in bed sleeping the whole time and Courtney having no one to fight with.

We woke him up to go and again had a very unhappy camper. About 15 out he started yelling he was sick he was sick and we thought he was going to throw up so we whiped over to the side of the road and pulled him out of the car. Next thing we know there are flashing lights and a nice Mr. Policeman asking if we were OK. Eric said it was the only time he'd ever seen flashing lights behind him and not got that sinking feeling in his gut. We told him we had a sick child and he waited behind us until we were all loaded back in to protect us from getting rear-ended I guess.

Andrew woke up perky and fresh this morning - no sign of headache. He said "I'm all better mom." and we got up and got dressed for school. Hopefully no more flashing lights :)

Weekend Project

Well I embarked on becoming a carpenter this past weekend. We went to visit Joy/Kory two weekends ago and Joy and I discussed adding a wall to their very ugly play room to make a nursery for the future baby boy Bellmont. I then proceded in my OCD way to plan the entire thing while trying to sleep for the next six days. Here is a before picture of the left side of the playroom - it gives you an accurate picture of the right (nursery side).

So - after four days of shopping - five nights of surfing all home improvement store websites and a partridge in a pear tree - I headed off to Paynesville to build me a wall. We started with priming this wonderfully dated paneling - ripped off all the trim and then painted. Not bad for the first night. We went to bed at about 1am and I was asleep within about 3 minutes - when considering it had taken me probably 2 hours every other night that week to fall asleep due to brain planning - felt mighty nice. I awoke to Andrew crawling into bed with me - stroking my face - giving me a kiss and saying "I love you mommy". Not a better way to wake up if you ask me. Then breakfast - and back to work. Here is a mid-finished picture. I had installed new white paneling on the back wall (mostly at least), put up the curtain and was about to start the actual dividing wall. Now Kory and Eric were gone virtually the whole day - so this little make over was 97% girl power.

Each of the projects that went into this little remodel took ten times longer than I expected (painting the exception) and due to brain mailfunction required several quick thinking reconfigurations to avoid having to purchase more materials. So.....in the end - aside from moldings around the ceiling and some finishing trim on the new wall - we successful created Baby Boy Bellmont's nursury in 1 1/2 days. Way to go Joyzie - you and big belly were a big help.

Here is the kinda imcomplete wall - but you get the picture. Have white board for dry erase markers on the right and needs trim - thanks Kory for the help on the door!

PS...

slanted ceiling = pain in the rear.

Awareness

I don't know who the author of this is - but I recieved it via email this morning. As a mother of a little boy fighting autism I am always looking for ways to "enlighten" the public and this is a great letter.

Inside The Mind Of A Child With Autism
Nobody can see my disability. I look just like every other kid-attractive, walking, making sounds. They can't see how my neurons are scrambled in my brain. They can't see the misconnections between the left and right brain. Nobody can see I have autism.Nobody can see that my body is sick. No one can see that my stomach is in knots from my digestive system not working. No one can that my body and mind are starving because my cells don't make the right enzymes to digest food. No one see that I suffer from low blood sugar because I can't properly metabolize nourishment.No one can see that my body is attacking its own nerve cells from auto-immune dysfunction. No one can see that mercury lead and arsenic cannot be excreted from my body, so it keeps building up in my brain. No one understands that my body cannot tolerate normal enjoyments for children, like bright, vivid colors and loud noises. I desperately want to be a kid and enjoy these things, but my body just won't let me.But everyone can see how inappropriate my behavior can be when I am out in public. Everyone can see how immature I can be compared to other kids my age. Everyone sees the 2-year old tantrums when things have been too overwhelming for me. Everyone sees my frustration from trying to cope.Everyone sees my screaming and fighting. Everyone just assumes I'm being bad, not that my body hurts, my eyes are in pain from colors, my ears ring with loud noises not heard by others.Everyone sees my tantrums when I don't get my way. No one sees that I can't explain my fear when I think I'm not being understood. Everyone may see my screams when my mom takes something away from me. No one can see that having something of comfort can keep my fears under control for me, and taking it away makes my nerves explodes in anxiety.No one understands how hard I have to work to keep my behaviors from reacting to the chemical imbalances in my body that makes me feel horrible. No one can see that, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I cannot control it. No one can see the shame I feel after I've had a meltdown from my body's problems.What they don't see I am a person. I have feelings and want to be loved and accepted like everyone else. What they don't see is that, when they look at me like I need a good spanking; I understand that I'm not capable of controlling my body.What they don't see is that I scream because I don't know how to say "HELP ME"What they don't see is that I hear every ugly word they say, but for the life of me, I can't make my mouth say what I'm feeling. But they don't see that as a disability. They say I am unmanageable. They say I am a problem.But I am not a problem. I HAVE AUTISM. My mom has taken me to more doctors and specialist than you can ever imagine. She's read more books and done more research on my disease than parents would ever want. She has tried special diet, supplements, drugs and various metabolic therapies. She has PRAYED for GUIDANCE and asked for discernment on how to help my body. And behaviors, OH YES, has she tried everything to help my behavior.Stop telling her all I need is a spanking. If spanking would stop all this, my mom would gladly exchange my disability for a spanking. She knows better than all of you what I need to help me, and what we both need is your understanding, not ignorance.I just want to be accepted and understood. Not blamed and ashamed, I want to be appreciated for my gifts. I do have some if you look more closely. I want to be cared for as a person. I want you to care, even when I act like I don't.I want to be respected, just like you do. I want you to respect my mom and dad for all the hard work they have done to help me try to lead a normal a life as possible. I want you to respect my family and all the struggles we have to endure because of our love for each other.I want to be LOVED like any other child. And need you to role model respectful behavior for me so I can be respectful too. I want you to love me just like God would.

First Day of School 2

Well Andrew officially moved on to 1st Grade yesterday. He was sooooo excited. He's been waiting for a long time to get out of Kindergarten and he couldn't wait. He really loves his new teacher, Mrs. Pickens, and is quite impressed that he gets to go to school all day. My little boy is getting so big and we are so proud of him. Though we still have many struggles and I know that he fights frustraitions being different and having to work so hard for the things that come so naturally to the rest of us...I am sure he will have a super year. Here is a picture of him looking like he doesn't want to go....but I think he just didn't want me taking even one more photo :)

We love you buddy and pray for an amazing and successful year in 1st Grade!

First Day of School

Today was Courtney's first day of Kindergarten! It was a day of mixed emotions for me. I am grateful to have the morning to myself - but....she is my baby and now she is in school. Andrew has been off to school since his 3rd birthday, somehow that just felt easier. Now I didn't cry, but was a little sad as I left the parking lot. She said she enjoyed herself, so here's to hoping she has a really great year this year.

The Last Hurrah!

This was the final weekend of the summer at the cabin, but one of the most beautiful of the summer. So it was fun to share with our pals the Selness family. Courtney, Andrew and Ella were apparently enjoying Grandma Kathy's cushion hauler! Though the cabin always seems to exhaust me by Sunday afternoon - the kids had so much fun and it is always more fun with friends. We took out the new boat (pontoon), relaxed in the hottub, and of course watched a little of the weather channel to keep up on Gustav.

Ella, Courtney and Britten

At least I think the girls are becoming fast friends - by the end of the weekend I think they were playing more like sisters :) but Courtney was so sad when they left on Sunday afternoon.

The cabin to us, is a place to relax (at least now that most the projects are done) and spend time with family and friends. It has been a fun and yet short summer for us. Dad and Eric above are showing the true loving and inspirational bond we all share while there :) Hope that you all enjoyed your labor day weekend as much as we did.